And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
