Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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