Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
