She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
