Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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