I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize