I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
