Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
