it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
