how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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