Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
