he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
