i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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