Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
