Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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