i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
