never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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