Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
