Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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