we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
