i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
