Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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