yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Porn is love you can see.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
