so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
