if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
