An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
