I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
