I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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