I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize