Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
