Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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