I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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