need another drink. this is the easiest way
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
