Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
