I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
