***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
