I am in a vortex of obligation.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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