so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
