i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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