Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
