i just made my gag reflex go away.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
