I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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