why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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