afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
