i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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