so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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