marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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