How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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