he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just sent this text using only my big toe
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
