So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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