Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
