shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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