Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
