This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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