nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
