Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
