oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
