so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
