You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
