Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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