Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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